So, what's new eh?

For those that don't know, Canadians are sometimes known for ending most of their sentences with "eh". We do it without even thinking about it most of the time. I find myself putting it in emails that I'm sending to my family and Canadian friends but I don't normally include it in correspondence or conversations with non-Canadians mostly because I think the non-Canadians won't get it. I think of it as a secret code that allows fellow Canadians to identify themselves to each other.

I'm only kidding, I just like saying it :)

Anyhow, I wanted to talk about something new.

And that something is my new grandaughter, Madison.

"Maddie" as she is being called by those close to her, was born on 31st March 2011 to my eldest son, Richard-Ian and his partner Katherine.  Maddie has three older brothers, Zachary, Joshua and Jacob.

My fourth grandchild is a sturdy one - she weighed in at 9lbs, 6oz and was 19-3/4 inches long!

I have to wait a couple of months before I get to meet her, and let me say right now, that I can't wait.  I was last in Montreal when Jacob was born in June 2009.  I remember like it was yesterday, how hard it was to say goodbye to Jacob when it was time to leave.  We didn't know it at the time but Jacob was a bit poorly and had to have surgery not long after but has since made a full recovery.  But boy, was he cuddly.  He just seemed to mould himself into your arms.  That is the only time I have seen him and I'm really looking forward to getting to know him when I get there in June.

Zachary, Joshua and Jacob all seem to be totally taken with their new sister.

It's really hard to put into words how I feel about Madison's birth.  I guess 'overjoyed' is a good word but it sounds a bit too melodramatic. 'Thrilled' is another good one but it doesn't feel like it's enough. When I think about that little baby girl, I get a small twinge in my heart and my eyes well up.  I guess it's because I can't help but be reminded of my own baby girl who died so many years ago.  It was an experience that changed my life and the lives of my whole family no doubt. The first death of a child in my generation meant that a lot of us had no idea of what to do or say or how to react. It was the first time my parents had to deal with the death of a grandchild and my mother, bless her, did the best she could by telling me to wash my face so I would feel better.  It was dark time for all of us. 

Lisa was born when Rich was three so he was the only one to have known his sister.  Danny and Adam only knew her from her photographs. Rich was even with us when we made that frantic ride to the hospital on St. Stephen's Day in 1978. There had been a snowstorm the day before and the streets of Ville LaSalle were horrendous.

Lisa died in my arms en route to the hospital.  The doctors did what they could but it was too late.  My mother came to the hospital and took Rich away while the doctors came to tell us the news and I thought I too was going to die. They let us in to say goodbye and I can still see her tiny face if I close my eyes, even after all these years.  She was only 6 weeks old.

We didn't know or understand why it had happened.  We had seen her paedetrician several times because she had seemed collicky and wasn't gaining weight but he assured us she was fine.  A visit to the local medical centre on Christmas Eve because she was feverish and seemed generally unwell left me feeling insecure and unconfident as a young mother because of the doctor's attitude and response to why we were there.  It was only after the results of the autopsy were revealed did we know that she had a very rare form of what they called Infantile Leukemia.  They didn't know how or why or even when she got it and I'm not sure that even today, 33 years later, that much more is known about it.

So 26th December has been a sad day in my life.  That is until Zachary was born!  His birth on the 26th December changed the meaning of the whole day for me.

I still think about Lisa that day, even reliving the events of the day in my head.  But there is less sadness.

But now, a new baby girl has joined the family. My hope for Maddie is that she grows up happy and healthy, loving and kind, gentle yet strong.

And I can't say enough how much I am looking forward to holding her!